The stash...

Because I was home for almost the entire 1st year with Sophia, any pumping I did was purely for convenience - a bottle before bed or when I when out. I was diligent about pumping in order to keep up my supply, but I knew that I could always just feed her if I needed to and there wouldn't be an issue.

With Theo, it was different from the get-go. I was back at work 2 weeks after having him, so pumping started very very early. I was convinced I had a low supply, so I started in on Fenugreek and eating lots of oatmeal. I soon realized that it helped a lot, but that I was also producing what I needed too as he was still so young and not taking a ton at one time.

Even through my delayed maternity, I still kept up a rigorous pumping schedule so I could stockpile milk in the basement deep freezer. There is something gratifying about seeing the ounces accumulating (and equally demoralizing when they don't.) Luckily, I was able to make some good headway and accumulate quite a few ounces so that when I went back to work it wouldn't be session to session coverage.

I had always planned to breastfeed through a year, as I did with Sophia. But I wasn't sure with the almost full-time pumping if I'd be able to make it. I also knew that I would introduce cow's milk at some point in his 11th month (as I was clear there was no dairy allergy - this child lives on yogurt & cheese and anything else you'll give him). The introduction of cow's milk a little early would also give me some wiggle room on the pumping. I was currently pumping 4-5x/day to cover his feedings. (2 of those pumps were at work, 1 was before work and 2 were dinner/before bedtime.)

Over the Christmas break, one thing I checked off my list was taking stock of what was downstairs ounce-wise. I pulled all the bags and counted. And counted. And counted some more. 97 bags. 6 ounces each bag. Basically I was looking at almost 600 ounces of liquid gold!!

I was amazed, gratified, and frankly, really damn proud of myself. After some quick calculations, I realized I could begin dropping to 3 pumps/day (ahh - the time this frees up is amazing - trying to facilitate breakfast for both kids while pumping concurrently...it's a sight no one needs to see.)

The pressure is off and I can slowly whittle down my stash and know that little man is covered with mama's goodness. I'll happily keep breastfeeding him past 1 (our morning time together is so precious to me) but I am thrilled to have the end in site with the pump.

My baby is 1

Amazing how the past year has flown. I know every mother/parent says it, but to look at how Sophia has grown truly astounds me. But I've grown too, as a person, a wife and a mother.
This whole weekend I reflected on what I was doing a year ago - not knowing I was heading into labor, giving birth and the time following when we came home from the hospital.

I spent so much of this weekend cooking and cleaning, (which was well needed, as we were having our families over to celebrate Sophia's big day on Sunday) but so much of it felt like I was nesting all over again. The morning I went into labor, at 2am, I made sure to sweep the kitchen floor and straighten up everything before I went to the hospital. I prepped food in the fridge and made sure there was toilet paper in the bathroom.

This weekend's cooking involved making food for Sophia so it would be ready for the week. I start my new job on Tuesday - it'll be the first time I've been back in an office for almost 2 years. I'm excited, nervous and empowered all in the same moment. It's part-time, which hopefully will offer me a good balance of work/brain time and Sophia time. I'm not quite sure what to expect in the world of balance, but I know I will do my best to make it happen.

Sophia is getting closer every day to walking on her own. She has been walking while holding our hands for sometime now. Today, she began to walk with just one of our hands in hers. Soon, I know, she will take her first steps, without holding hands at all. And I am very aware that she may do this with the wonderful woman who is watching her. But I know that when she does it with me, it will be the first time I see her walk and that will be amazing too.

This year has brought me even closer to Dave. We take joy in the little things that Sophia does and in our special time alone with her. I love, respect and appreciate the man who is my husband and my daughter's father. We know each other and what it takes to be a great family. For this, I am lucky and thankful.

I am still breast feeding Sophia, and plan to continue for awhile longer. I am actually not sure, emotionally & physically, how to wean her. I know it will happen when the time is right for both of us. My goal was always to make it to her first birthday. While she is drinking cow's milk in addition to breast milk, I like knowing we still have our time together in the mornings. While my baby is getting so big, she is still my little one.

Happy first birthday Sophia. We have both grown and learned so much this year. Bring on the fun and festivities of the rest of our lives!!

Breastfeeding - Approaching a transition

It was always my goal to breastfeed Sophia through her 1-year birthday. From what I've read, and with the routine we've got down, it's the best option for us. I particularly enjoy our morning time together - it's a nice way to ease into the day for both of us. With 10 months down already, I've started to think a lot about the transition.

Right now, I feed her directly 3 times a day and she gets a bottle of pumped milk before bed. We started the bottle before bed because my supply was at its lowest at the end of the day (as is most women's) and we wanted to make sure she had a nice, full tummy for sleeping. It's also a great opportunity for Dave to participate in the putting to bed process. The other two feedings occur when she wakes up after first and second nap. She is eating lots of solids, so the stress from the beginning of her life of not being quite sure how much milk she was getting has eased up entirely.

What is funny is that the more active she is become (crawling, pulling up), the less interested she is in eating. Yesterday, we made it about 8 minutes before she was completely distracted and disinterested. (Note that we were sitting quietly in her room with nothing really to distract her - no music, people or anything. She manages to distract herself! with trying to move all around) I ended up pumping and giving her about 3ozs because I knew she was still hungry. We're working on beefing up the solids even more, but much like breastfeeding, it's hard to know exactly how much they're eating (vs throwing on the floor!)

One thing I won't miss is the pumping. I've been fairly dedicated to pumping 3 times a day. Once in the morning after her first feeding and twice at night - when she gets her bottle at bedtime and once before I go to bed. That has covered the nightly bottle with some extra to increase our freezer supply. My hope it to be able to stop pumping the end of this month, with enough "banked" in the fridge to cover her nightly bottles through the 1-year mark.

Come November, the plan is to move her onto cow's milk for 2-3 feedings and to continue to nurse her for the morning feeding for awhile longer until she's ready to give it up. We'll see how it all plays out. We'll probably start with a nice half mommy milk, half cow milk transition and go from there. I do love the fact that I can soothe her at a moment's notice (especially in the middle of the night with teething) so I'm not willing to give up breastfeeding entirely. Breastfeeding truly has formed this bond that we'll never lose; it will just evolve.