Celebrating my Birthday

For me, celebrating my birthday is a huge deal. It has been since I was a little girl. Each year was more amazing and special than the next. As I've gotten older, and especially as a parent, my expectations of birthday have clearly shifted. Presents become more functional (A vacuum cleaner), celebrations a little tamer (in bed by 11 because I know I have to get up the next day for kids or work).

The kids, though, did a fantastic job (with a little help from our amazing nanny) of kicking off my birthday in a special way! It started off with cupcakes made by the 3 of them and a love note brought up to me at my lunch break from work (it was a work from home day) by Theo:

Clearly, the kids enjoyed the festivities too: 

The weekend brought more celebrating in Newport with friends, my parents and a whole lot of quality beach time. 

Before heading home Sunday, we managed some low-key park time and Dave caught a few of these great shots. What a way to end a weekend of celebration. 

Teachable Moments

They say that with children, everything can be a teachable moment - to help mold and shape the people they will become. And some believe everything should be a teachable moment. As a parent, I am coming to realize that I have influence and guidance to offer, a responsibility to keep them safe, the opportunity to teach, but that they need the ability to learn. Their amazing personalities, capacities and free will inevitably shine through and guide them.

What I was a little slower to realize is that the teachable moments are just as much for me as they are my children. As in, they teach me how to be a parent. In every day, every moment at their tender young ages, they embody the best characteristic one could ever ask for: Forgiveness.

You see, I'm just as new at being a parent as they are at being a child. I'm learning just as much every day as they are. They may make a mistakes: not share with each other, tip the cup up too far and dump water everywhere, stay awake later out of sheer excitement of what today held or tomorrow may hold. And often, I make mistakes: force them to share as opposed to letting them work it out, get exasperated about another mess to clean up or frustrated that she won't go to sleep because I know she'll be a zombie the next day and fragile like china.

And those mistakes often make me yell, be crabby or just downright annoyed. And I work, day after day, time after time, to hold it together. But I'm human.  I'm not perfect - no matter how many blog posts, articles or tips I read on how to be a zen like parent - it doesn't always happen. And I feel badly, when I yell, when I'm short, impatient or just frustrated. Because (most of the time) I know nothing is being done intentionally.

After some tears, some cooling off walks, or some deep breaths, I learn my lesson. The best lesson of all: Forgiveness. It comes in different forms: Snuggles. Kisses. Or an offer of a bunny snack. What ever it is, I'll take it, appreciate it and learn from it.

The Seizure

On Friday, October 18, I got one of the most dreadful calls ever while I was at work- Lidiana called to tell me Theo had had a seizure. We had been texting about giving him some tylenol because he had spiked a little bit of a fever. The next thing I knew, she was on the phone and passed it to our neighbor downstairs, who is a NICU nurse. She had brought Theo right down once she realized what was happening. She said it was likely just a febrile (temperature induced) seizure, but he should be checked out. They drove him over to Children's, where I met them after what felt like the longest cab ride ever. 

When I heard, about 80 different things were running through my mind. My frame of reference for seizures was mainly through my colleague, who's young son suffered from them so badly that they were performing a left-hemispherectomy the following Tuesday. 

I called Dave en route to the hospital and made arrangements for Sophia to be taken care of. Thank god for her school director and teachers. They usually let out early on Fridays, but they agreed to hang with her till we got everything sorted at the hospital. Dave was able to run back across the river, get Sophia and she hung out with our neighbors till we got home - I'm so thankful for our village! 

 Dave met me at the hospital - I just snuggled Theo who was just wiped out. But it was just good to hold my baby. On top of the seizure, it was almost 1 and he hadn't eaten and was definitely exhausted. Luckily, the two of them were just able to zone out for a bit while we waited for him to be seen.

His temperature was up and down a bit while we were in the waiting room. He had light fever when I had left for work that day, but nothing of note and his spirits were normal, so I didn't think twice.  After what felt like forever, he finally was taken in to see the ER doctor. She was fantastic as, was Lidiana, who relayed the full story of what she had seen/what happened. I think that was the hardest part through all of this for me - that I didn't know firsthand what had happened. I'm thankful for Lidiana's quick thinking and love for my son. Still, it was tough as a mom. The Dr. said there were somethings about the way the seizure was described that she catalogued as irregular (Lidiana could only confirm that one side of his body seized - both may have, but she remembers seeing one side specifically). With that info, they wanted neurology to see him.

After another long wait, we got into see neuro and they thought he looked ok but the irregularities had them recommend a follow-up EEG. At least we could go home.

 Here's my happy boy after a long, tiring day - doesn't look like someone who just spent the day in the hospital?

And here's a shot from his EEG a few weeks ago. They scheduled it during his nap time as they needed to image the brain sleeping and then awake. There are 24 nodes on his head tracking what he's thinking. He was such a rock star through the process - not something I want to go through again, but Theo is a rock star in my book. And the best news was that it came back all clear. The neuros chalked it up to a temperature induced seizure, which up to 10% of kids under the age of 6 have. This could be the only one he ever has, or he could be more inclined to have another. Let's just hope this is the only one.

And back to our regularly scheduled programming!

Has anyone seen my baby?

In less than a month, Theo has gone from contented crawler to full blown walker, explorer and borderline shenaniganizer. I couldn't be happier and neither could he.

His latest party tricks include:

Words - or at least lots of indicators and sounds that are becoming words.
His short list includes:
"Idoit"
"Dada/daddy"
"Woof" when pointing to a dog
"milk"
But he can most certainly make himself known and understood. He also follows instructions extremely well. (except when it comes to not throwing food. sigh...still working on that one!)

Swimming Beach Baby: Put this boy on the beach and he'll play for hours and find his way to the water in less than 5 minutes. Kicking, splashing and just having fun. I can pull him around on a boogie board till he tips over and he'll pop up, ready for it again!

Tooth brushing - this child loves brushing his teeth. If he's within a 10 foot radius of his toothbrush, he goes right at it. We have to make him trade it in at night for his owl. But at least he'll have shiny clean teeth.

Snuggles: I've never met a fiercer hugger and snuggler than Theo. He just lights up and hugs the life right into me.  Morning, noon and night. He's still a fierce sleeper though, coveting both of his naps, but able to power thru if he misses his morning siesta.

Stubborn: as all get out. When he wants to walk and in what direction he wants to walk, he goes. We have some serious work to do when it comes to holding hands in parking lots, etc. Luckily, he is still small enough for me to pick up and haul away. He also is starting to stand up for himself with Scout. This will make for some interesting times in the coming months and years.

Curious: A boy in a field. Just taking it all in. My sweet love Theo.

Moments of adoration

Sophia knows how to press my buttons - whether they are all intentional or just a fact of being 3 years old - is besides the point. 

The good news is, the frustrations are far outweighed by the tender, sentimental moments of watching her grow, learn and blossom into a little girl. 

Top 5 things currently that make me smile: 

5) Watching her comb her dad's hair tonight and telling him that "he looks beautiful now" in a very serious voice. 

4) How she won't let Dave or I leave the house without taking our "ice cream" with us to work.

3) How she lines up her animals in different formation surrounding her barn. (note: these are not all traditional farm animals, so seeing who gets to hang with who is rather Noah's Ark-ish)

2) Having her help me make salad with me and actually learning how to properly (with my hand guiding) use a knife. (and testing out the different veggies we put in!)

1) Reading with her. A favorite book is "The Snowy Day" by Ezra Jack Keats. Tonight, she was able to identify almost all the letters in the title & author's name. Absolutely amazing and fascinating to watch the cognitive development. And it just makes me so proud. 

My amazing three year old

Some how, some way, my amazing, incredible, sweet (and sometimes patience-trying) Sophia has turned 3 years. 1,096 days old. I remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. Maybe a lot of the stuff in between has faded a little, but every day we are making new memories.

We celebrated the big day with friends and family, and of course, a fabulous Mickey Mouse cake (and Mickey's clubhouse themed birthday!)

The day started off with our yearly tradition of hanging and examining the banner of the year's pictures.

Nana & Pop Pop came up for reading and playtime before the party began. 

Then, the party started. Here's Sophia& Frances - both born on November 7th. 

Wow - have they grown from last year. 

And of course, the customary shake down from Dad.

 Snuggle time from Grandma:

A little dance party!

And finally - birthday cake time.

Happy Birthday my big girl!!

8 months of Theo

Hard to believe that the little guy has been around for 8 months (more now that I actually write this.)
Theo is rapidly becoming "not so little" each and every day.

His helmet is really helping round out his head - at his last check up, he's around 95% (he started at 102% and the goal is 92%). Hoping we'll be at our mark around the new year. Recent growth spurts have really helped the cause.

He and Sophia have been interacting even more. It's generally around him go after some of her toys on the floor, which displeases her greatly, but we're working on the sharing thing.
In terms of his mobility, he is fully locked crawling in reverse. He can pitch himself forward from a sitting position to all fours, but isn't quite sure what to do from that point. He also quite enjoys sitting and pulling up on things, so we'll see.

Food wise, he's eating like a champ. Still doing 5 feedings, plus 3 solid meals a day. We do a mix of purees (I gave up the notion of making all his food. He gets much better variety and tastier stuff thanks to my new best friends at Plum Organics!) He also love eating cooked egg yolks, advocado, yogurt and eyeballs anything and everything we're eating. Pieces of bread and cheese are making their way on his list. Not quite there with the pincer grasp yet.

Sleep is still going well. He's such an all around happy baby - nap times (2 naps each day usually) are easy and bed time is a solid routine, which includes a bath every night because of the helmet. I couldn't ask for anything more in that department. Well, maybe if he slept in until 6 more regularly. The 5:30/5:45 is rough some days.

I'm so lucky to have this wonderful, amazing son. His personality is really starting to show - he's thoughtful, smiley when you give him just a little attention, but completely content in his own land. He adores his sister and thumps happily when I walk into his room to get him up from sleeping or when I come home from work. The joy on his face is priceless and unconditional love. He's my happy little man.

Next check up is in December with the pediatrician, but he is clearly a happy, healthy, growing little boy!

Things that keep me sane

I know how lucky I am to have a wonderful daughter like Sophia. She is sweet, loving and endearing. Most of the time. Because, in case you forgot, she is also 2.5 years old. Meaning that she is the center of the universe. And she'll happily remind you if you do indeed forget.

Lately, we've had our fair share of frustrating moments. While Dave gets them here and there, she seems to save these extra special "emotions" for Mama - which I'm told that I should feel lucky, as she is comfortable enough in our relationship to do this. For everyone else, she is on best behavior. Sigh...Dave has promised that he & Theo will be living in Newport for long spurts of time come Sophia's 13th birthday.

So whether it's procrastinating at bed time (water Mama! Milk in the Minnie/Daisy Cup. Another Twinkle Twinkle) or dawdling when we're trying to get some place or insisting that everyone sit in their Sophia designated seats and heaven forbid you (or - ekk! an outsider) sit in a seat not assigned to you - I'm trying to remember patience and not hand her off to the gypsy wagon with a free pack of diapers to sweeten the deal.

I've creating a running list of things about her that make me smile and realize how amazing she is.

1) Her smile when she sees me at the end of the day.
2) Her desire to stop and smell the flowers. Literally. We stop & smell ALL of the flowers when we go walking. Even the bushes (which honestly, don't smell like much of anything.)
3) Her kisses for my boo-boos when I say ouch.
4) Her laughter when I tickle her.
5) Watching her run - limbs all over but with sheer joy and disregard for anything in her way
6) Her love of climbing. She wants to go up up up as much as she can. And takes direction really well in getting there.
7) Her taste in music. Currently, she requests to hear the following 3 songs, in this order, EVERY TIME we get in the car:
      1) The Black Key's "Gold on the Ceiling"
      2) Adele's "Rumour Has It"
      3) Old MacDonald
(she has also figured out I have 2 & 3 available to be played on my phone at any point. The Black Keys CD lives in my CD player stuck on track 3.
8) Watching her kiss and sniff her little brother. Yup, sniff. She has this thing about sniffing family lately and just loves to get in Theo's face and sniff him. The report generally is that he is "stinky."
9) That despite her outgoing, often extremely loud front, she is often shy, polite and very loving in groups.
10) Her love of animals. Any dog or cat she sees gets a pet (after letting them sniff her hand like she was taught and the pat is on the back of the dog) and she will happily walk it, hug it or whatever it will put up with.
11) Her love of cooking. She often will go to her kitchen to "cook me dinner"
12) When she sits on the couch with my boppy pillow to "feed" her stuffed animals.
13) How she sings in her cute little voice  with hand motions- either twinkle, twinkle or Caterpillar Crawling on my arm (especially the version I made up that involves the caterpillar nesting in your ear!)

What are you up to these days?

An update on Sophia at 2years (I have fully decided while my best attempts to keep a written baby book are sincere, it's much easier to type it all in and add pictures for effect.)

Sophia seems to have two speeds - running and dawdling. Rarely is there an in between. As long as there is someone or something to chase, she'll run. Otherwise, she much prefers being carried and lets you know with an insistent "Up Momma. Pick Up." She also likes wearing mom & dad's old sports clothing, just to have fun!

(Web- this shot's for you!)

She is fully attempting to test her limits, preferring to eat her dinner on the stool at the counter with me on my stool (which she proudly pushes over). We're edging her back into her booster chair, but some nights, well, the fights just aren't worth it! And it's a nice change of scenery.

Her vocabulary has totally exploded. I've lost count of all the words - she basically repeats most everything you say and she has a great recall for animals (Dogs are actually dogs now and not just woofs!) as well as numbers. We do lots of counting with her, especially going up the stairs at Whole Foods, so she can actually count to twenty. She really takes delight in the word twenty, too - she says it with flair! She also is getting pretty good with names of our neighbors and friends - the roll call list is growing!

Dogs and monkeys are still her favorite animals, though kitty-cats are fun and Mice (all of them except Mickey and Minnie) are "Eww" (thanks to Lidiana, our nanny, who desperately hates mice!) :)

She loves little babies - her baby doll is a huge favorite and comes everywhere with us. She does not like, however, when I am holding a baby. She gets insanely jealous and immediately demands a pick up. Clearly, we're working on this one (ahem, T-3 months...)

We're working on the potty - no action yet, but she does enjoy it.

She clearly is taking after her dad though with the reading room concept:

She's growing tall (over 3 feet now!) and is a very healthy weight. Most of all, she is happy - full of laughter, loves to be tickled, to give hugs and kisses to all. We are so lucky...can't wait to see what the next year has in store!

2 Year Photo Shoot

We went to the wonderful women at Two Mamas Photography for our semi-annual photo shoot and wow - did they capture some great shots of Sophia. They actually manage to get her to sit still long enough for the camera to catch her (though I will admit, she's a total ham once you point in her direction!) I can't recommend Renee & Mandy enough - they have watched Sophia grow and captures some of the best moments with her.

Enjoy the photos!

Kisses for Mama

Happy & Clappy

I'm a big girl in a chair!

And my personal favorite!!

This one is framed on my desk and makes me smile every time I look at it, even through the roughest, crappiest work days. Happy almost 2 year birthday Sophia Morgan!!

My baby is 1

Amazing how the past year has flown. I know every mother/parent says it, but to look at how Sophia has grown truly astounds me. But I've grown too, as a person, a wife and a mother.
This whole weekend I reflected on what I was doing a year ago - not knowing I was heading into labor, giving birth and the time following when we came home from the hospital.

I spent so much of this weekend cooking and cleaning, (which was well needed, as we were having our families over to celebrate Sophia's big day on Sunday) but so much of it felt like I was nesting all over again. The morning I went into labor, at 2am, I made sure to sweep the kitchen floor and straighten up everything before I went to the hospital. I prepped food in the fridge and made sure there was toilet paper in the bathroom.

This weekend's cooking involved making food for Sophia so it would be ready for the week. I start my new job on Tuesday - it'll be the first time I've been back in an office for almost 2 years. I'm excited, nervous and empowered all in the same moment. It's part-time, which hopefully will offer me a good balance of work/brain time and Sophia time. I'm not quite sure what to expect in the world of balance, but I know I will do my best to make it happen.

Sophia is getting closer every day to walking on her own. She has been walking while holding our hands for sometime now. Today, she began to walk with just one of our hands in hers. Soon, I know, she will take her first steps, without holding hands at all. And I am very aware that she may do this with the wonderful woman who is watching her. But I know that when she does it with me, it will be the first time I see her walk and that will be amazing too.

This year has brought me even closer to Dave. We take joy in the little things that Sophia does and in our special time alone with her. I love, respect and appreciate the man who is my husband and my daughter's father. We know each other and what it takes to be a great family. For this, I am lucky and thankful.

I am still breast feeding Sophia, and plan to continue for awhile longer. I am actually not sure, emotionally & physically, how to wean her. I know it will happen when the time is right for both of us. My goal was always to make it to her first birthday. While she is drinking cow's milk in addition to breast milk, I like knowing we still have our time together in the mornings. While my baby is getting so big, she is still my little one.

Happy first birthday Sophia. We have both grown and learned so much this year. Bring on the fun and festivities of the rest of our lives!!